Nothing
by yesimadramaqueen
Summary: Yet another Mal/River story. Post BDM. Maybe only a little fluff. Mal has feelings for River, but it isn't until a life or death situation that he realizes how much he truly loves her. T for gore/swearing.
1. The feelings

He barely saw the top of her head over the pilot's chair as he entered the bridge. As usual, she knew he was there before he even got all of the way up the steps.

"Can I help you, Captain?" she asked without taking her eyes off of the Black.

He leaned on the controls beside her, picking up one of the dinosaur toys that Wash left behind.

"I need to send someone a wave," he explained with a sigh as he turned the toy over and over again in his hands, suddenly more interested in it than he had ever been just to avoid looking at his albatross.

"Is that a subtle hint to leave?" she smirked.

His eyes shot up from the stegosaurus, landing on her. She had her legs drawn to her chest, but her arms were on the helm. How that was comfortable, he didn't know. Her legs were milky white against her dark purple dress. Those big brown eyes were still trained on the task of flying his ship with skill and grace that Wash would have been proud of. The way that her hair pooled around her face, framing it so perfectly, made his heart race._ I never want you to leave_, he thought quietly.

"Captain?" she asked, finally meeting his distant gaze. His thoughts were going too fast for her to read effectively. Actually, it was overwhelming her, making her feel a bit light-headed. As soon as her eyes met his he cleared his throat and when back to playing with the dinosaur.

"Sorry, distracted's all…" he mumbled as he ran his finger down the plastic spikes.

"You're thinking too fast. Making me dizzy."

"Oh…sorry."

"Must be an important wave. You're nervous." She reached out for his hand. He couldn't breathe. _What's she doing?_ He thought desperately. She grabbed the dino's tail and sat it back down so he'd stop the gorram fidgeting. He was making _her _nervous. He looked at his boots, a little flustered from the anticipation of her hand on his, although it never came. River put Serenity on autopilot and looked at Mal with a typical River look written on her sweet face.

"Are you waving Inara?"

"WHAT? No! No."

"I figured it would be the most probable reason for your jumpiness. Is it Patience? Her name really doesn't suit her…"

Mal laughed. It was true. He brought his eyes back to River once again with a small grin.

"That's the pure truth, little one. No, it ain't Patience. It's business though. I should be attendin' to it. If you'd excuse me…"

"Of course, Captain."

She got up and moved out of the way, stealing a second pondering look that he matched. She was trying to figure out what had him so damn agitated. His thoughts literally went blank along with the expression on his face. She hated how he could do that. She flashed a quick smile before floating off to the galley for a snack.

He sat down with a sigh of relief. The seat cover that had once smelled like Wash's heavy cologne was now replaced with the scent of his full time pilot, the one and only River Tam. The truth was that he was nervous because for awhile now because his feelings for her had changed. He wasn't sure what made him notice her in that way. He always thought that she was pretty, but now she was simply breathtaking. He was lost, nervous, flushed in her presence like some school boy. Maybe it had been during one of their flight lessons that he started to like her. Or maybe it was the night they had all gathered around a fire. Jayne had started to play his guitar, so River got up and started dancing. The way that the fire had illuminated every graceful movement and her smile…maybe that was it. Either way, something had changed.

He snapped back into reality and pressed a few buttons. Then he appeared on the screen.

"Mal, long time no see."

"Badger. I heard you might have a job for us. Speak your piece."

"That I do. There's a moon close to Greenleaf called Cavalry. 'Ave you 'eard of it?"

"I believe so."

"Well, there's a local group of…troublemakers. They call 'emselves _Leeches_. They take people 'n use 'em 'till there's nothin' left. Some of the people they take work in the fields or if they 'ave skills they use those. If they don't, the Leeches hold 'em hostage for money. If their families or friends can't pay and they can't offer them anythin', they kill 'em nice and slow like."

"Well this has been real educational, but can we get to the part where me and mine fit in?"

"They store their blood money in an old shack. Accordin' to my sources, only two guards are on it except for on pay day. If you get there in time, you'll get 'em when their guard is down. It's a lot of money, Mal…"

"Now we're talkin'. Do you have a plan?"

"Yes. You get the money and I get forty percent."

"I meant a bit more specific like. How we get the money…that sort of thing?"

"That's up to you. You're the petty thief. I'm the respectable business person."

"You get thirty percent."

"Forty."

"Thirty."

Just at that time, River had reappeared on the bridge and was standing behind Mal smiling. He looked up at her as if to say "_Not now_" but she stayed.

"Well 'ello there," Badger grinned.

"If it isn't the sad lil' king of the sad lil' 'ill 'imself," River returned in her accent.

"The one and only. So 'ow 'ave you been?"

"Fine thank you. 'N you?"

"Bett'r now that you're 'ere."

She giggled. Mal watched in awe as she continued to flirt with Badger.

"I'm sorry! Did I interrupt?" she finally asked.

"Not at all, little one. It's always a pleasure seein' you again…" Badger beamed.

_She's __**my **__little one. _Mal growled in his head. River almost broke character and shot a surprised look in his direction, having heard his thought. Luckily Badger didn't notice. He was too busy looking at her certain…assets…as she leaned forward just a bit.

"Would you go to thirty-five percent…for me?" River asked, batting her eyes prettily at him. She smiled and then he smiled back.

"Ah alright. For you love. Thirty-five percent. I'll want my cut in two weeks."

"Okay Badger, see you then."

Mal cut the screen off before River could say goodbye. She smiled at him and he inadvertently smiled back, even though he didn't approve of her constant flirtation with him. He didn't like the way Badger had looked at her. _No one should be lookin' at her with that hunger in their eyes_, he thought before realizing that he was looking at her that very way when she looked down at her leg like she was inspecting it.

"W-what you doin'?" he asked.

"Badger was upset that he couldn't see my legs. I don't know what's so alluring about them. He thinks about them a lot…it makes me a bit uncomfortable."

"As it rightly should. I don't think that you should-"

His eyes traveled up her exposed legs to her curves, making their way to her face, stopping him in his tracks. When she met his gaze, he felt a blush cover his cheeks. He hoped that she didn't catch it.

"Should what?" she asked.

"Flirt with him like that's all."

"I'll be fine. Just likes to look at me is all."

He looked at her body again, instantly feeling guilty for doing so. He felt his face glow. He hated how hot and bothered she made him.

"You feel warm, feverish. Thinking it right now, how unusually hot you feel. Maybe Simon should look at you," River suggested as she picked up on his thought. He tugged nervously at his collar.

"It's nothing. I'll go get some water…"

He got up, accidentally bumping into her. His heart went into over drive when she giggled. He mumbled out an apology.

"Let me at least see if you have a fever."

She reached out to feel his forehead, but he jerked back like she was coming at him with a knife. She looked confused and slightly hurt. He awkwardly motioned towards the door with his hand.

"I…captainy things to do…"

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing…"

"You seem on edge. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah…just shiny. I gotta go now."

He left like someone had lit a fire under him. Something was bothering him, and she intended to find out what it was.

********


	2. The fear

He clambered down the ladder into his bunk to escape from River. He couldn't go two seconds without his eyes wandering or his thoughts straying somewhere he didn't want them to go. What if she heard or saw what he was thinking? The images of holding her, kissing her, doing things with her that someone his age shouldn't be thinking about doing with a girl her age. He tried to play it cool around her, but each time he reverted to the clumsy, tongue-tied, boy he once was. It was weird how she had that effect on him. When Inara was still onboard, he was a little flustered around her, but then they'd just argue and break the tension. God, that tension on the bridge was enough to kill him. He could only stay for a little while before excusing himself.

_She leans forward, hair snakin' down her back, silky arm outstretched to push the button, lips twisted into a gorgeous smile, eyes flickerin', bendin' back, I get a clear view of her profile, heart speeds up, swallowin' hard, can't breathe, she's too gorram much. I leave again, take a shower, thoughts in my head, my tongue in her mouth, my hand down her back…_

The smell of something wonderful cooking floated into his bunk. His stomach growled, bringing his mind back into the present and away from his pilot. Everyone was already laughing by the time he got there. A full plate of food sat in front of his empty chair. He joined his crew, enjoying their laughter.

"Welcome to the table, sir."

"Thanks Zoe."

He looked up to spy River sitting beside her brother laughing with Kaylee about something. He loved her laugh, her smile… She threw a quick look in his direction before turning back to Kaylee. _Did she hear me? _He wondered. The rest of dinner, he avoided her occasional looks in his direction. He felt hot under her gaze. The butterflies had come accustom to whenever in River's presence were making his stomach do flip flops.

He called a meeting to plan their heist after dinner. She sat at the table, suddenly enthralled by how reflective their new silverware was. Her big eyes were filled with wonder, obviously off in her own imagination.

"So all you know is that it's a shed and there's two guys on it?" Jayne asked, pulling him back into the moment.

"It's headed by this group. They call 'emselves the _Leeches_. They're a nasty group of bastards. They take people and use them. If they can't use 'em, they hold 'em for ransom. If they can't get a ransom, they just kill 'em."

"They sound like…pleasant folks," Zoe said in usual flat and sarcastic tone.

"So what you s'ppose we do?" Jayne asked.

"It's two guys. I say, we take 'em out and then run off with the money 'fore we get caught."

"River, you've been quiet. Any thoughts?" Zoe asked.

River looked up, surprised to hear her name. She usually had nothing to do with planning jobs, unless she had a feeling.

"Seems like two people isn't much to guard the amount of money Badger says they have."

The look in Badger's eyes when he saw River appeared in Mal's head, making him angry all over again.

"I's a small moon. Only one or two towns. I been there 'fore. They'll see us," Jayne said, directing his attention at Mal.

"Then we'll have to be quick 'n stealthy like," Mal snapped.

"Sir, no offense, but stealth ain't your thing."

"No, but it's yours."

"So, how about we drive in on the mule, River and I will take out the guards, then you and Jayne will clean the place out while we make everythin' look fine, and finally we get the hell outta there 'fore they know what hit 'em?" Zoe suggested.

"Sounds good," Mal smiled.

Jayne disappeared to work out and Zoe had vanished towards her bunk or the bridge, Mal wasn't sure which one she'd actually end up going to. River was still seated at the table and he was standing there awkwardly with his hands placed firmly on his belt. They didn't speak. His gaze fell on her as her hair fell forward as she stood up. She brushed it back, staring at the floor. Her eyes met his. He looked away, knowing that his little reader could see right through him.

"Why are you so afraid?"

"What?" he exclaimed.

"You're afraid. I see it even now. Nervous. Twitchy…"

"I…job's got me…"

"Lying."

"Stay outta my head."

He said it with more venom than he hadn't meant to.

"I didn't mean for that to come out like it did," he muttered.

"Why are you different?"

"Wha-?"

"Three years I've known you. You brought me back twice. You believed me, risked the ship, your crew, Wash died because of it. You trust me with your ship, yet you can't trust me with whatever is bothering you. I thought we were friends. Suddenly so distant…afraid…lost like a child in the woods. You won't look at me, talk to me, like you did."

Her words had more impact on him that she had originally intended. He brought his eyes back to hers. His mental walls were up, blocking out her prying mind's eye. She suddenly lost contact with him. He had turned blank again.

"I'm just distracted little one."

She wished that she could read him to see if he was telling the truth. She couldn't tell. He sighed and then left the room.

_Why can't I trust her with this? 'Cause I'm thinkin' 'bout her like I shouldn't, can't. There's a list of reasons long as my arm that say that I shouldn't be feelin' the way I do. But that don't matter, 'cause I do. I don't know what to do 'bout it neither. _He thought with a sigh before falling asleep. He hoped that she hadn't heard him. Luckily she was too busy with her own thoughts.

********

_Why can't he just open up to her? He won't even let her in by accident! She hears everyone, except him. He is erratic, makes no sense. Gentle and loving one second and then dead inside the next. A shell left on the shore, forgotten until someone stumbles on it. They pick it up and turn it over in their hands, unsure of what it used to be and where it came from, only knowing what it's become…_

She thought in third person mostly out of habit or just to distance herself from what she was going through. It hurt her to lose the connection she had with her captain. He understood her more than most people did. She always secretly hoped there could be something more than friendship. She finally fell asleep after a few hours of more metaphors.

********

He got up earlier than he usually did the next morning to find River barely awake with a steaming cup of "coffee". Her hair was a mess, sticking out in all different directions. She was in what looked like one of Simon's old shirts that had been crumpled up something fierce in her sleep. Still, he stopped in his tracks unable to think or breathe.

"Are you just going to stand there?" she asked with a yawn.

"I was just gonna get some coffee myself."

He got a mug and then smoothed down his hair that was being difficult with him that morning.

"Are you always up this early, darlin'?"

"Yes, if not earlier."

"Earlier?" he gaped.

"Yes. Serenity gets lonely. Likes to feel movement, keeps her company."

"That's awful kind of you."

"Don't tell her, but I mostly get up just for the coffee."

He laughed. She had literally whispered it to him. She smiled back, and for a moment it was like things were back to normal between them. She crossed to the table, setting her cup of coffee down beside a sketch pad. She sat down and started to draw, pulling her legs to her chest. The shirt was long, but not long enough. He saw her creamy thigh. He followed it with his eyes, tracing the outline of her tiny little dancer legs. He swallowed hard, pushing the thoughts out of his head.

"I should go check the bridge," he muttered. She looked up, cocking her head to one side with a perplexed look. He met it only briefly before looking away with a deep red color appearing on his cheeks and then walking away towards the bridge.

Everything was good. They'd reach Cavalry the next morning, if something didn't break. He worked up the strength to go back in and check on her. She was gone along with her coffee. It was like she had vanished.

"I'm right here."

He leapt at her lyrical voice. She appeared through the doorway in a black dress, barefoot, and drying her hair with a towel. She moved past him, leaving a lingering burst of cool air and her flowery scent. She picked up her sketch pad with a quick smile.

"How is she?"

"Who?"

"_Serenity_."

"Oh right, right. Everything's good."

"Good."

She tucked the sketch pad under her arm as she quickly put her hair up into the towel. She hummed happily as she danced away towards the passenger dorms. He watched her go, longing tugging at his heart. He shook his head muttering, "I'm a bad Special-Hell-Bound man."

The day went on, the same as any other. He couldn't be in the same room alone with River for more than a few minutes before having to leave. It hurt and puzzled her. She assumed that she had done something wrong. She sensed his nervousness around her, but his thoughts were too guarded to reach.

********


	3. The job

"Hey Zo, where's River 'n Jayne?" Mal asked as he met up with his first mate on the way to the mule and their job.

"Already in the cargo bay, sir."

"Good."

They started to go down the steps. River looked up and smiled. Mal's heart leapt into his throat. She started walking towards them, still smiling. He suppressed a grin and tried to remain calm as she grew closer and closer. Then, she pushed past him into Kaylee's arms and then gave Simon a kiss on the cheek. He felt a little disappointed, but he knew deep down that it wasn't him, and never would be, that she'd run to like that.

"He wasn't 'bout to let you go off without a proper send off," Kaylee explained, holding her fiancé a bit tighter.

"Be careful mei mei. I don't want to treat anymore bullet wounds then I have to."

"I will. Stop worrying."

"Never."

They hugged again and then River hopped into the back of the mule with Mal. They took off into one of the two or so towns on the tiny moon. Finding the guarded shed wasn't hard. There were two men on it with guns. Zoe parked the mule close enough to get to and from the shed efficiently, but far enough away to remain inconspicuous.

"River," Zoe muttered.

River nodded and slid from the mule gracefully. She followed Zoe. Their plan was simple. Zoe would keep an eye out for onlookers while River took them out.

_A snap here, a slit there. Welcome to a deep, everlasting sleep_.

Zoe motioned Jayne and Mal over. The robbing could begin. They got over half of the money into the mule when River heard them coming.

"They know we're here. They aren't happy," she announced. Mal looked out of one of the bullet holes in the shed. It looked like over half of the town population was there with weapons looking very ticked.

"Aren't happy is an understatement, little one. Zoe, River keep moving the money. Jayne, let's try to stall them so they won't start shoot-"

A bullet came whirling through the shed, just missing Mal's arm.

"Ai ya. Here we go," Mal growled as he pulled his gun out.

He popped his head out of the shed first with a hand up in a nonthreatening way.

"Hello there folks! Now we don't have to spill any blood. We's can just talk like civilized men."

"This is the rim. There ain't nothin' civilized out here. 'N that's the way it's gonna stay."

Mal tried to come up with a plan to split them up into groups. There was no way that they, four people with very few weapons and ammo, could take on them, at least thirty well armed and angry men. Before he could think, River had flown past him in battle mode. The men started shooting.

"GORRAMIT RIVER!" Mal bellowed as he motioned Jayne and Zoe to start fighting.

She took out two right away. _A kick to the jaw. Bone snaps. Like a dagger severs the brain. Body crashes in a red puddle. Night-night. Fist to the ribs. Crunch. Twirl, step, bang. Ankle hits the skull. Falls, still alive. Step, press, move, crack. Sweet dreams. Gun aimed at friends. Chop wrist, grab hand, point, pull the trigger. Bam. Another falls. Leg up, toe connects with head. Body goes weak. Pull forward, tumbles, hits the ground. Goodnight. Bullet comes, leap back, it hits her flesh. Pain, ignore. Keeps going, keeps fighting, keeps flying. She isn't ready to sleep. _

Mal took out as many as he could before his gun ran out of bullets. Zoe ran out next. Jayne never runs out of bullets. Mal watched in horror as River took a punch to the chest. He went into the thick of the chaos, using his fists as best as he possibly could.

_Pitchfork flies forward, hits her side. Grab the handle, push, hits gut. Falls, takes weapon, spin. Momentum carries, knocks down three. Thud. Another comes. Throw. Bull's-eye. No time for bedtime stories. Leap, kick, land, roll, punch, flip, kick. Two more safely in their beds. He's there. Punch, kick, snap. Neck like jelly under his hands. He takes a punch, stumbles, never falls. Keeps flying. _

He regained his balance from the well placed punch. He turned to Zoe and Jayne.

"GET THE REST OF THE MONEY! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!"

Zoe nodded and started cleaning the shed out while Jayne provided cover fire. He took a few more punches, a knife wound, and a bullet graze on his cheek. River kept fighting. Out of the thirty, Jayne had gotten eight, Mal six, Zoe four, and River ten _without _guns. Problem was, people kept coming. What had started out as thirty was now closer to fifty.

_Blood runs. Keeps going. Head connects with knee. Smash. Arms behind, grab her. Nails bite into flesh. A scream. Bend, toss, stomp. Snap. Another bloody lullaby. Pain from behind, club to the shoulder. Turn. Leg collides. Loses balance. Kick to the chest. Lungs stop. Knife on the ground. Through his head. Forever in slumber._

"SIR! WE'RE GOOD!"

Mal stopped and nodded. He was in pretty bad shape. They just kept coming and River just kept killing. Jayne kept firing too.

"JAYNE, GET TO THE MULE! RIVER! TIME TO GO!"

_A distant voice. His. Others heard. Knife flies through the air. She isn't ready to tuck him in. Leap, push, blinding pain. Knife connects with her head, grip only, slight blade. Hot blood trickles. _

Mal hit the ground harshly. Someone had pushed him. He turned around and it was River. She didn't look well.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "I'll be right behind you."

He nodded back and took off for the mule with her in tow.

_She stops. Dizzy. Bang. Hot pain shoots through leg. She buckles. Blood drains. Can't move. Not ready to say goodnight…_

Mal was in the mule. He panted and turned to his side, expecting to see River beside him. She wasn't and they were already moving. He looked back. There she was, on the ground in a puddle of blood. Terror, panic, dread, pain, surged through him. The men were already closing in on her. She was vulnerable, trying to move. She couldn't. He turned to Zoe.

"River's back there!"

"I ain't turnin' 'round!" Jayne growled.

"Well I ain't leavin' her. If I'm not back in an hour, leave without me."

"Sir-"

He didn't have time to repeat himself. He leapt from the moving mule, rolling roughly on the desert ground. He saw one of the men at River's side. He found a loaded gun beside one of the men that River had taken out. He held it up at the man and started walking towards them.

"Get the hell away from her," Mal spat.

"You're a lil' outnumbered," the man laughed.

"Back the hell away from her before I shoot you between those beady little eyes of yours."

He smiled cockily with a snicker and reached down, barely moving some of the unconscious River's hair. He shot him right between the eyes, like he said he would. He fell onto the ground, dead.

"If anyone else touches a hair on her head, I'll do more than just shoot you."

They all looked at him blankly, but didn't do anything as he got to River. He picked her up, instantly feeling sick. She was wet from blood. He didn't know if it was hers or theirs, but her leg wound looked back and blood was gushing out from her head. He should have known it wouldn't have been that easy, but he was too worried about her to notice the men sneaking up behind him. A few moments of pain later, and he felt his legs buckle. He made sure that he didn't hurt River as he fell. That was before everything went black.

********


	4. The Leeches

The pain woke him up. He didn't know how long he had been out.

"River?" he called, slowly opening his eyes.

He was handcuffed to a metal bar and his foot was chained to a heavy metal table. Wherever he was, it was damp and dark. The only source of light streamed in through an opening above him. He looked around, repeating her name slowly getting more and more frantic. Then, he saw her.

She was across the room, blending in with the landscape. She wasn't moving and her face was turned away from him. She didn't appear to be bound. He noticed the blood around her. It was a pretty big room and he couldn't exactly get to her.

"River, darlin', I need you to talk to me."

Nothing.

"At least move, do somethin' so I know you're still with me."

Nothing.

He was losing his calm. His tone had remained steady, captain like. But then it started teetering on the brink of panic. Seeing her there, like in so many of his nightmares lately, tore him apart. The nightmares had started a few months back after a job that was too close for comfort involving the Feds. Ever since, he dreamed that she was dead or being taken back to the Academy crying out for Simon…or him.

"Please, just let me know somehow that you can hear me!"

Still nothing.

He started to tug on the bar to test its strength. It wasn't going anywhere. He'd have to somehow slip out of the handcuffs. She was bleeding out. He couldn't just sit there. So, he started wiggling his hands to the point of drawing blood. The cold metal bit into his flesh, but it didn't stop him. He was determined. The entire time, he kept talking to her.

"I don't know where we're at or how long we've been out. I told Zoe to leave if we didn't come back in an hour. They got behind me, knocked me out. There's light, but I don't know what that means time wise. I could really use that genius brain of yours."

It was his way of keeping his control on the situation. It kept him focused. After a painful and persistent five minutes and nonstop talking about…nothing really, she still hadn't moved or spoken. He took a short break, looking over at his albatross. Somehow it reminded him of the Maidenhead. He had every intention of taking her back home just like he did then.

"Little one, if you can hear me, I need you here. I'm gonna try to get to you, okay?"

He kept working for a few more minutes before a door opened. Bright light streamed in. He was able to get a glimpse of the three padlocks on the door. Then he looked frantically over at River so he could assess exactly how bad it was.

It was hard to tell, but he could see blood matted in her dark hair. She had a head wound. The bullet wound wasn't near anything vital, but he didn't know how long it had been bleeding. She had blood all over her, including some pouring out from three marks, probably from the pitchfork, in her side. But pushing all of that aside, at least he could see her breathing.

Two men entered. The first motioned to River. The other short one went over to her and looked down at her before feeling for a pulse. The shorty nodded.

"Ain't that amazin'? She's that beat to hell and still alive. Tough little bitch, ain't she?" the guy who appeared to be in charge asked as he kicked her, hard, in the back. Mal thought he heard her yelp, but he wasn't sure how much of that was his imagination. He tugged at the handcuffs trying to get towards the men.

"What kind of man kicks a girl?" Mal snarled. He laughed in response.

"Tell me, you two got any talents we's could benefit from? Or is our only shot at you bein' useful those two pals of yours that made off with our money?" he asked.

"So you guys are the infamous _Leeches_, eh? I thought you'd be taller and tougher. You're just bullies hurtin' girls on the playground." Mal was rewarded with a punch to the face.

"I'll take that as a yes," Mal laughed as he spit out some blood.

"Answer my question!" the man bellowed.

"Piss off."

"Ya took three hits to the head 'fore fallin' down. That's pretty damn good. Maybe we could use ya for farmin' of the shorts. But her…" he walked over to River, hunkering down beside her. Rage boiled through Mal's veins. He watched as the man caressed her face. "…she's damaged goods." He kicked her again.

Mal lunged forward as far as he could. If only he could snap that asshole's neck. He laughed about it too. _Laughed_.

"Son of a whore," Mal growled.

"She's not doin' so good. Bleedin' from every which way. I reckon she's close to death. What do you think, Paul?"

The short one nodded.

"So, tell you what. You tell us where your friends went with the money, and we'll maybe give her a bandage or somethin'. If not, we'll let ya sit there and watch her die 'fore we figure out what we's gonna do with you."

Mal remained silent. Even if he knew where Serenity was, he'd never tell. The main man leaned back down, picking River's head up by the hair.

"Don't you touch her!" Mal roared.

"Looks to me like he's sweet on her. Don't you agree, Paul?"

Paul nodded.

"Ain't she a mite young for you?" the other asked.

"I'll enjoy killin' you," Mal said flatly as his eyes narrowed.

"I can say the same if you don't tell me where the money is."

"I don't know. If I did, I wouldn't tell you."

"Then you get to watch your girl die nice and slow like. Too bad she ain't 'wake so ya can't hear the sufferin'. She must be with all this blood-"

"Shut up!"

He laughed again.

"Let's go Paul. Leave the light on. I want him to know when she's dead."

Paul nodded and turned the light on. Mal's eyes shut involuntarily at the sudden brightness, and then he heard the door shut with a loud _thud_. He opened them again and looked over at River. He felt like his heart was being ripped out through his nostril.

"I'm gonna first get outta these cuffs so I can make my way over there to you and help you out. You gotta hang in there 'till I do."

The same. Nothing.

He kept moving his wrist around, trying to slip his hand out. It wasn't really a wise idea to let the metal cut into his wrist, but he had to get to her. He had to…

********

"Where's River?" Simon asked as the mule sped into the cargo bay.

There was Zoe, Jayne, and bags and bags of money but no Mal or River. Zoe looked up at Simon. He could see it in her face.

"What happened?" he asked nervously.

"The locals spotted us. We fought 'em off best we could. Your lil' crazy sis took out half of 'em alone. Mal took out quite a few himsself. He gave the order to get to the mule. We went and then I felt him hop in, so we took off. Not a second later he was askin' 'bout River. She weren't there."

"What?" Simon cried, cutting Jayne off mid-story.

"Jayne didn't want to turn around, so Mal told me if he wasn't back in an hour to leave without them. Then he jumped out like the big damn hero that he's always bein' and we got the hell outta there."

"YOU LEFT THEM?"

"Had to. It was a gorram war zone! That was only ten minutes ago. They should be showin' up in no time, doc…" Jayne shrugged.

"He's right. River and Mal are fighters. She took down a room of Reavers alone; with Mal there they should be shiny."

Simon nodded, but the worry remained. He waited nervously in the cargo bay with Kaylee and Zoe. Kaylee kept spewing out comments of optimism, rubbing Simon's shoulders tenderly. Zoe must have cleaned and recleaned her gun ten times until you could eat off of it. She checked the time. It had been forty minutes. Nothing.

"ZOE!" Jayne boomed over the intercom.

"What?" she asked into it.

"Them locals are lookin' 'round and gettin' awful close to us!"

"Kaylee, get to the engine. Give me enough to get us outta here fast without arousin' suspicion."

"But Zoe-"

"I know! This is Mal and River, I'm aware! We'll be back. We will. We just have to lie low."

"They could be-"

"Kaylee! Go!"

Kaylee scrambled off towards the engine room. Simon looked paler than usual. Zoe quickly patted him on the arm before going to the bridge. She sat down in the pilot's chair, flipping the three switches. They took off just as the patrol went by.

********

It had been about five minutes. He was getting closer to slipping out of the handcuffs, but it would still take a little while longer. He kept talking to her, telling her as many stories as he could to try to keep her listening, but also to calm himself down. He took just a second to look at her. Her back and chest weren't moving like they had been before. It looked like she had stopped breathing. She was on the verge of death, if not dead already, and he was still handcuffed to the opposite wall left to watch her slip away into one last slumber.

********


	5. The promise

"River?" he knew it was pointless, but her name slipped out anyways.

She still hadn't breathed. He started tugging on the cuffs harder than he did before.

"Darlin' you gotta breathe!" he cried moving his arm furiously to escape the restraints.

An image of her on the bridge in the pilot's chair, hugging her knees to her chest appeared in his head. It was the only motivation he needed. He made a final effort, ripping his arm down and away from the restraints. His left hand slid free, but he broke his wrist in the process. He ignored his pain and shakily stood up. There was still the table issue. He didn't have time to get the chain off of his leg. So, he picked it up (sort of, it was gorram heavy) and started moving towards her. The back legs dragged along the floor. It was loud, but not too loud. As soon as he got within arms reach of River, he dropped the table and fell to her side.

"I told you I'd get to you," he muttered as he checked for a pulse.

There wasn't one. As he feared, she wasn't breathing. He put her flat on her back and titled her head. Luckily in his war days he had learned CPR and had to use it too many times. He lightly pinched her nose shut and bent down, pressing his lips to hers. He gave her two short breaths. It was far from the way he had pictured putting his lips against hers for the first time. He started to push down on her chest.

"You have to come back. I ain't gonna let you die," his voice was deceptively calm.

Two more breaths. Still nothing.

"I got a lot to say to you that I haven't said, and you need to hear it so don't leave me now!"

Stop. Two more breaths. She wasn't responding.

"GORRAMIT RIVER! YOU BEAT THE ACADEMY, YOU BEAT REAVERS! YOU CAN BEAT THIS!"

He was on edge of a breakdown. She was _dying_ and he couldn't help. He never cries, and yet tears were in his blue eyes, spilling down his cheeks. He gave her two more breaths.

"The only way you're goin' out is in a fight right beside me, so get back here! I NEED YOU, DAMNIT! I CAN'T LOSE YOU!"

He breathed into her again, quickly returning to the chest compressions. He was still crying. If he pushed any harder, he would have cracked her ribs if they weren't cracked already. In a quick stream, memories of her flowed through his mind. Watching her dance by the fire, teaching her to fly, her emerging from that cryo-box, holding her hands as they stood on Serenity among the stars. He stopped, giving her the two breaths. On the last one, he lingered there for only a second letting the pain overcome him. He was about to lose her too.

Before he could start the chest compressions, she coughed, drawing in a long wheezing gasp followed by another, and another. He let out a deep and shaky breath before checking her pulse. It was faint, but there. He wasn't sure for how long, but it was there.

He tore off part of his favorite red shirt to use as a tourniquet for her leg. He prayed, yes _prayed_, that they didn't come back for a little while longer. After tying that off, he gently lifted her head to check the head wound. There was a small cut above what looked like a decent conk to the skull. He didn't know how bad it was, but at least it had stopped bleeding. He used another section of his shirt to clean up some of the other minor injuries she had before he lifted her as best as he could into his lap.

Her hands were bound in the front, but her legs were free. He smirked, knowing that they had underestimated her based on her appearance. She was breathing more evenly, but her pulse was still dangerously weak. He held her close to his chest, moving a strand of hair out of her face. He was literally shaking from almost losing her.

Until she woke up, he was lost. There was a window where he had just been, but it was maybe a foot tall and a foot and a half wide, complete with bars. The door was triple padlocked. There were no other doors, passages, windows, etc. leading him to believe that they were in a basement somewhere. It had been well past an hour he figured, so Serenity was long gone. They were stranded alone. Things looked bad.

He gently ran his hand down her cheek. Then he found himself praying again. _I know we've grown apart, but I'm askin' for a favor. Not that you should rightly grant me a favor, me bein' the sinner that I am. Please, just let her live. Let her outta here alive 'n back to her brother. If that means me dyin' 'n goin' to that special hell Book was always rantin' about, so be it. _

He lightly nuzzled her temple with his nose before barely kissing her there. She stirred for the first time since the heist.

"Little one?" he asked hopefully.

She wheezed and moved again. He supported her more securely and then looked down at her nervously waiting to see what would happen next. She made a sound, but he couldn't tell if it was a word or just a grunt. Then her eyes slowly opened. He smiled, laughing just slightly before putting his good hand on her face.

"Welcome back, darlin'."

She looked up at him and managed a weak smile.

"I…wasn't ready to…go to bed…" she muttered hoarsely.

"Well I wasn't ready to say goodnight to you," he responded.

Her smile strengthened. "You…understood."

"More than you think, little one."

"I was gone."

His throat tightened. "Yes."

"You brought me back."

He looked down and smiled at her. "I'll always bring you back."

She looked down at her hands, noticing that they were bound. After a quick assessment of her health and his, she looked back up at him.

"You have a broken wrist."

"Conjure that's why it's hurtin'."

"I have lost a lot of blood. Concussion, nothing serious. Bullet wound straight through the leg, severed some muscle tissue. A few broken ribs, punctured lung. Infection from the rusty pitchfork as well."

His eyes widened with fear at the list of injuries his albatross had. He affectionately stroked her hair to bring some comfort to them both.

"You don't have a plan, or even half a plan…" she stated.

"No, I don't."

"Serenity?"

He didn't have to tell her. She heard it in his mind.

"You're right. They've gone, but they intend to come back eventually."

"We don't have time for eventually."

"You mean I don't have time for eventually."

"Hey…" he murmured, bringing her head to the safety of the crook of his neck and his shoulder. "I am not gonna let you…sleep. I promise. I don't break promises."

His fear was enough to consume her thoughts. She reached up, wincing slightly, and moved her bound hand down his face.

"Don't be afraid. It will block out everything if we're going to escape. Our only chance is my gift. Could you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Go blank."

He was taken aback by her request, but he did just that. She shut her eyes. He saw them fluttering rapidly under the lids. She tensed up and he instinctively clung to her tighter. She held onto one of his suspenders with a look of pain on her face before opening her eyes again.

"Bad men…very bad…" she whimpered.

"It's okay sweetheart. I'm not gonna let them hurt you again."

"Three padlocks on the door. Two by hand, one by key. Seven men are upstairs, five prisoners. The only cortex screen is in a bar. The only one on this moon. It's in town, not far from here. Simon's scared, they're away."

The wheels in his head started to turn. He was developing a plan.

"Take down the men, free the prisoners, get to the bar, wave Serenity, and then…I got nothin'…not to mention the padlock problem."

"Two halves make a whole."

"So you can fill in the blanks of my plan?"

"I can."

"Glad to hear it."

********

They had taken off over thirty minutes ago. Simon was trying to busy himself with reorganizing his medicines, but he was terrified. He always knew this would happen. At least Mal was with her. He hated to leave her there, so outnumbered, with only Mal on her side. Mal was tough, Simon knew. He came back from Niska with ease, not to mention the beating he took on Mr. Universe's moon. The man kept walking. He had often wondered if Mal was actually a cat and had nine lives, only to realize that he would have run out lives long ago.

"It'll be fine," Kaylee promised.

Simon held her close, using her positive energy like a security blanket.

"Cap'in will take care of her."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

The thought of Mal, the battle-hardened-criminal of a captain, being left to take care of his mei mei was somehow disturbing and comforting at the same time. River had taken a liking to him and he seemed to like her back. Lord knows that he had a million reasons to trust the man. He just hoped that they could hang on until they turned back around.

********


	6. The plan

"You sure about this plan?" Mal asked.

"It's half _yours _you know."

He smiled and then continued to work on the getting the chains off of his leg. They had threaded the other end through a hole in the leg of the table.

"If you give it enough force, the pressure against the leg of the table plus the weight and mass of the chain should either break the chain or the table leg. Based on the dimensions and volume, I think that it is highly improbable that the table will break. The chain however, might."

He nodded, understanding most of what she had just said. He grabbed the chain and after a few failed attempts and a forceful tug, the chain broke. He smiled at her, once again amazed with her brilliance. She blushed at his thought, but suddenly became pensive.

"They're on their way back. They assume I've died by now. Time for our plan."

"Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Yes. Can you? I might…hurt you."

"It's okay. I'd rather have you here, fightin', and hurtin' me than being-"

"We have to hurry. They're almost here."

He stood up and quickly moved to the wall, tucking beside the door and some crate. He had River in his arms. She put her arms around his neck so she was hanging vertically at his side. The chains dug into his neck as she did so. He didn't know where to put his arm, because either way he'd hurt her.

"I'm going to hurt no matter what, Captain. The waist is fine," she whispered.

He nodded and put his arm around her. She flinched. Then the door flew open.

"She dead yet?" Mal recognized the voice as the one in charge. He decided to call him Asshole. It fit.

Asshole stepped in, immediately noticing the missing prisoners.

"PAUL! GET IN HERE!"

They heard heavy footsteps before seeing Paul and Asshole in plain sight. River nodded. He lunged forward.

_Swing forward. Pain. Ignore. Hits head. Crunch. Falls. _

River took out Paul with her legs, despite her injuries. He took only a second to admire her before grabbing Asshole by the throat.

"I'm gonna enjoy this," he smiled.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite …" River said, also smiling.

Mal snapped his neck and then took the guns from both of the dead bodies. They sped out of where ever they were into the well lit…house? By this time, all of the others had appeared. They were well armed. A few had knives, but mostly they had guns.

River had already emptied her gun. The gorram thing was only half full, and it was a five shot. Mal took out two of them, so they were down to one guy with a knife.

"He…did things to the women upstairs…" River whispered fearfully in Mal's ear.

Without hesitation, he fired the rest of the bullets into the man, making sure to stomp on him after robbing him of some money and the keys to…everything.

"Up the steps," River panted.

"You doin' alright, darlin'?"

She nodded and winced as they went up the steps.

"This door."

He fumbled with the keys for a bit before finally getting the door open. Three women and two children sat quietly in the corner, handcuffed to a bar just like Mal had been. River's cuffs were really starting to dig into his neck to the point of being unbearable. She heard him.

"You can put me down on the bed."

He gingerly set her down, still managing to hurt her in the process. He had to go through all of the keys until he found the right one for each set. It took longer than he would have liked. They stayed put while he got River's cuffs off and then his own. Yes, he still had them dangling from his right hand the entire time.

"There's a door. Back down the steps, down the hall, take a right, and it leads to the clearing. Keep going until you see the next town. There are plenty of ships there. Go," River said in short spurts, now really panting.

The women didn't hesitate. They gathered the children and ran as fast as their legs would go. Mal knelt beside River, looking into her big, gorgeous eyes.

"Are you gonna be able to do this? I could leave you here and-"

"No. We do this together, just as we planned."

"But-"

"Captain, I will do this if you carry me or not."

He grunted. She could be so gorram stubborn.

"Hey!"

He laughed. "I don't call you albatross for nothin', little one."

She put her arms around his neck and he lifted her with ease. He carried like he had at the Maidenhead. She clung to him tightly, trying to catch her breath. It was bad, she knew it was. This was their only hope. She couldn't stop. She wouldn't. They got a few guns, hoping the bar would be mostly empty. Then they walked through town to get there.

"Any readin's?" Mal muttered.

"Crowded. Trouble."

"I aim to misbehave."

He kicked open the door. River readjusted to her vertical position with his arm wrapped snuggly around her waist. There were so many, and they all turned their attention to them.

"We'd like to use your cortex screen please," Mal stated with a friendly smile.

More than a few guns were trained on them both.

"They can't play nice, can they?" Mal asked.

River shook her head. "They all broke curfew."

Understanding her code for, _Time to kill them all_, they pulled their guns out in unison and started shooting. Mal was grazed, but nothing serious. River let go of him, causing him to freak out and try to get her back.

_Let go, light shove, just enough momentum, flying, crash, plunge, dead. Hit the hay. _

She went flying and hit someone with her feet. He went running and was able to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Don't do that!" he snapped.

She didn't respond. She just kept fighting.

_Up, land, kick, chin snaps, stumbles, back, forward, across, kick. One more sleeps. Kick, grab, snap, down. Backwards kick, forward kick, side, side, rest. Repeat. Repeat. Dance. Dance. _

River was amazing. Even injured she took down more than he did, and he had guns. Granted they both took a few hits, they still won. Soon, everyone except the bartender was down, dead or…deader.

Mal turned to the bartender, River handing limply around him. He cradled her again and then approached the bar. Her breathing was dangerously rapid and shallow, he felt her blood seeping through his clothes, and she looked pale.

"Where's the cortex screen?"

The bartender babbled. Mal pointed a gun at his head. He pressed a button and it appeared from behind the bar.

"Do you have a med kit?"

He nodded.

"Get it. NOW!"

He nodded and hurried off, returning with it moments later.

"Thanks."

_Bang. Mengmei yong, sleep forever._

Mal set River on the counter. He crossed behind it, stepping over the dead bartender. She looked even worse. He could see that she was in pain.

"Tell me what to do," he said dryly.

"My leg wound is bleeding again. Get some whiskey and pour it on the wound. That will clean it out. Then rewrap it. Next, wave Serenity. I can wait. This may be our only shot at contacting them."

He nodded, and got the whiskey. He looked in the kit and offered her the pain meds. She waved them away.

"I'll need them later."

"But this is gonna hurt."

"I know."

She was so brave. He poured the whiskey on the wound, already regretting it as she screamed.

"Are you o-"

"Just wrap it and wave Serenity. They're coming."

He tied off the fresh bandage and then sent the wave. He felt a surge of relief when Zoe appeared on the screen.

"Sir," she smiled.

"We need you guys to get back here ASAP."

"Will do. River?"

"I'm here," River called.

"You two look in pretty bad shape."

"That's why we need you here. Make sure Simon's ready."

"Yes sir. We'll be there in an hour. Keep an eye out for us."

He nodded and then cut off the transmission.

"Well, how about that? They'll be here soon."

She didn't answer. He spun around. She had passed out.

"River?" he asked gently shaking her.

"I'm…here…" she wheezed. Her eyes flew open. "So are they."

********


	7. The return home

"Who?"

"No time. Go through the red door. There's a storage area underground. It's a hidden flap. It's where the med kit was. Go."

He picked her up and grabbed the kit before going through the red door.

"Under the rug."

He kicked the rug and then opened the door. After tossing the kit down, he went down the ladder with her still in his arms. He set her down on a table, yes there was a table, and then shut the door with the rug on top of it.

She wasn't sounding good. If they were going to make it, he had to do something to help her out before Simon could.

"What should I do?" Mal asked. He hated feeling so gorram helpless.

"Sew up the wound in my leg."

"Where do I start?"

"Get the needle and thread out of the kit. There should be some bandages in there too. I need the premeasured amount of antibiotics and some pain medicine, just a little."

He got everything she told him to. He hated to do it, but he had to inject her with the two medicines. She didn't react. She wasn't fazed by needles anymore.

"Take off the bandage and then sterilize the needle with some alcohol."

He carefully removed the bandage and then popped open a bottle of Saki. He poured it over the needle and then turned to River for instructions.

"Thread the needle and start sewing."

"Like…sewing like I'm stitchin' fabric?"

"Yes."

"You sure you don't need all of the pain meds?"

"The pain will keep me awake. I'm bleeding, Captain."

"Right. Sorry."

His hand was shaking as he approached her with the needle.

"Captain."

He jumped. "Yes?"

"I need something to bite on…they're still upstairs. They'll hear me."

He nodded and got a towel. She bit down on it. He felt sick. He had stitched up worse during the war, but this was _River, his River_. He unsteadily sutured the wound. He tried to avoid thinking about the pain he was causing her. Then he quickly wrapped it up in another clean bandage. He took the towel out of her mouth.

"Anything else I can do?"

She shook her head gravely with a wet cough. He wiped some of the blood off of her lips gently with his thumb.

"My ribs were broken. One of the bones punctured my lung. I require surgery. Until I can get to Simon, there's nothing else you can do. Keep me awake."

He took her hand and brushed back her hair.

"I don't see how you got the worst of it," he muttered.

"I took a blow to the head, knife meant for you. I was behind you, but felt dizzy. They shot my leg, I fell and blacked out. Then they kicked me, breaking my ribs."

She had taken a knife for him? If she hadn't, maybe she'd be alive and safe on Serenity.

"Can't know that. It's not your fault, Captain."

"Feels like it…"

"You came back, saved me."

He smiled at her. She got a distant look in her eyes.

"They've gone. We should go so we can keep a watch out for Serenity. Take only a few bandages and the pain meds."

He pocketed what she told him to take and then picked her up. They went up, and then out through the back door. It was getting dark. A stunning sunset graced the now orange sky.

"There's a building by the landing area. It's safe. That way."

He followed her direction to a small building. They went onto the roof. It was protected from prying eyes, but they had a clear view of the sky. He sprawled out next to her. It was good to finally rest. She stayed beside him. He protectively snaked his arm around her.

"Falling…asleep…Captain…"

"Right. Look up at the stars darlin', and start naming the constellations."

_-Flashback_

"_What are you doin' up?" he asked as he sat in the copilot's chair. _

"_Can't sleep," she explained._

"_I can't either. Say, how's about I teach you some of the constellations?"_

_She giggled._

"_I know them all."_

"_Do you now?"_

_She proceeded to tell him every constellation, pointing out the ones that she could see. She even knew the myths surrounding them. He spent clear summer nights back on Shadow looking up at the sky, teaching himself them all. It had taken him years to remember them all. Yet, she knew every single one. –_

Maybe that had been the night he fell in love with her. He really didn't know. He just knew that he did. She looked sleepily up at him with a grin. She started naming them off mindlessly. She started to slow down and yawn. He thought that maybe laying down wasn't a good idea for someone trying to stay awake. So, he pulled her onto his lap and sat up placing his arms around her shoulders, the only pain free place on her body.

"Bramdon…and…Michell…major…"

"Keep goin'…"

She sighed and leaned against him. It hurt, but it was worth it.

"I don't…feel like it…"

"You have to stay awake."

"I know."

"Well, what do you suggest then little one?"

…

"Little one?"

…

He felt for a pulse. It was there. He heard her raspy breathing.

"Serenity…" she wheezed.

Serenity appeared. Mal grinned and then picked River up once again.

"We're goin' home darlin'."

"So close…but not…enough…"

She shut her eyes.

"River, stay with me! Hang in there, sweetheart. We're almost home."

He ran as fast as his legs would allow. The door to the cargo bay opened. River was barely alive. Simon was waiting. He saw Mal running with River in his arms. He had a terrified look on his face.

"Doc!" he exclaimed as he reached Serenity.

"What happened?" Simon cried.

"She says she has a punctured lung and needs surgery."

"Let's go."

Simon extended his arms to carry her, but Mal shook his head. He set her down on the table.

"River, it's Simon. Can you hear me?"

She nodded.

"Cap-"

"I'm here. I'm right here," he took her hand.

"What happened to her leg?" Simon asked.

"Gunshot. I sewed her up as best as I could."

"Simon, my ribs are broken. One of the bones punctured my lung-"

"I know, mei mei. Mal told me. I need to perform surgery. Mal you should g-"

"I ain't goin'. What can I do to help?"

"Well…you can hand me the things I need."

"Done."

He got everything Simon told him to. Then he went back to her side and holding her hand.

"Hang in there, darlin'…hang on."

"It's…not my bedtime."

He smiled. "No, it ain't."

"I'm going to put her under," Simon said after inserting the IV.

"I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?" River asked weakly.

"Promise. Keep namin' those constellations."

She named a few more before going under. Mal assisted in the surgery. Everything went smoothly, but as expected she was beat to hell. She had lost a lot of blood, so Simon planned on giving her some blood after closing her up.

"What blood type is she?" Mal asked.

"She's the same as me. You aren't in the condition to donate. I still have to examine you. Besides, you've done enough. I'm surprised at the suture."

"Did I do it wrong?"

"No, you did an effective job. You kept her alive."

He had no idea how true that statement was, nor did Mal plan on telling him that his mei mei died and he brought her back.

Simon gave Mal a quick examination. His wrist was broken, so he got a special bandage for that, but other than a few cuts and bruises, he was fine.

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"I think so. She might have an infection-"

"I gave her antibiotics. She said she did."

"I'll take note of that. You need to get some rest."

"But I said I'd be here."

"She'll be out for at least another hour. I'll get you before she wakes up, I swear. Go rest and maybe get cleaned up. Some of those cuts look nasty. And thank you for everything."

"It was nothing."

Mal stole a final look at River before leaving to clean up.

********


	8. The things she needed to hear

He got into some fresh clothes and cleaned up the various cuts before going straight back to see River. Simon pushed him out of the room and told him to get some sleep. He sat on the couch right outside. _At least he's sitting,_ Simon thought with a sigh.

Kaylee and Jayne showed up along with Zoe. Kaylee pulled him into a bone crunching hug.

"I knew you'd come back!" she sniffed.

"Can't…breathe…"

She let go of him sheepishly.

"Sorry. 'Cited's all."

"What happened?" Jayne asked.

"Well, River was shot in the leg. They hit be from behind. They said it took three blows to knock me out. When I woke up, we were in some basement. I was handcuffed to the wall and chained to a table. River was 'cross the room. She wasn't movin' or respondin' but when they came in, the Leeches, they said she was alive. Then assh…the guy kicked her. When I wouldn't say where you were, not that I knew, they decided to let me watch her die. I got outta the cuffs, but broke my wrist. Then I made it over to her in time. We worked out a plan, took 'em out, freed the prisoners, took out an entire bar full of guys, waved you, and then waited."

They took a moment to digest it all.

"How's River? How are you?" Zoe asked.

"I'm fine. Just the wrist, luckily. We had to perform surgery on her. She had a punctured lung. The doc's givin' her blood as we speak. She was touch 'n go there for awhile…"

"Wow…Cap'in…that's somethin'. I'm glad you're both here and okay."

"Zoe, we need to get outta-"

"Already done sir. You didn't feel us take off?"

"Must have been busy."

"You need some rest," Kaylee suggested.

"So I've been told by that doc fiancé of yours."

She giggled and then kissed him on the cheek before going to check on Simon and River.

"Sorry I didn't…go back…" Jayne grumbled.

"You both would of been taken. It's good that you left when you did."

Jayne nodded and then left, probably to either work out or get drunk. Mal let out a sigh and leaned back. The day was taking its toll on him.

"By touch and go, you mean…?"

"She died, Zo. Took lots of CPR, but I got her back. I almost lost her."

She heard his voice shaking. He realized that he said _I_ almost lost her instead of, _we _almost lost her. Zoe smiled at him, catching the slip.

"You care for her, don't you sir?"

"I…is it obvious?"

"A little."

He rubbed his aching forehead.

"My advice is get some sleep and…" she got up and then looked back at him. "…tell her."

"You mean you're in favor of this?"

"You love who you're gonna love."

She left too. He gazed in at River. Simon was sitting beside her, holding her hand. She was still asleep. _Tell her_. That's what he had said. "_I got a lot to say to you that I haven't said, and you need to hear it." _

He was able to get some sleep, but not a lot. Kaylee had slipped past him while he was out. Nightmares woke him up. He got up and flew in to make sure she was alive. Simon jumped when he entered.

"Captain, is everything-"

"How's River?"

"She's better. Why did you burst in so suddenly?"

"I just needed to see for myself that she was okay."

"You need to get some-"

"GORRAMIT! WOULD EVERYONE STOP TELLIN' ME TO GET SOME REST? I DON'T WANT TO REST!"

Simon leapt back. It was miracle that he didn't wake River up with his shouting. He pulled a stool over and sat beside her. He reached out and took her other hand. Simon watched, slightly confused.

"Did something happen today to make you so…like this?" Simon asked.

"You can get the story from Kaylee, Jayne, or Zoe, Doc. I don't feel like tellin' it again."

Simon busied himself with stopping the blood transfusion. He had given as much as he could for the time being. Mal watched her sleep peacefully. There was a difference between seeing her sleep and seeing her there…helpless and hurting. Simon saw something in his eyes. He didn't know what it was, but he definitely cared for his mei mei more than he thought he did.

"I'm going to go get something to drink to keep my strength up. You need to eat. I'll get a plate of something for you."

"Thanks."

Simon nodded and then left.

Mal bent down and gently kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey there little one. You're gonna be okay."

She moved a bit and seemed to smile like she heard his voice. He smiled and then set his head beside hers on the table. Then, he slipped into a dreamless and serene sleep. Simon came in only a few minutes later to find Mal sleeping beside his sister. He sighed and set the plate of food aside.

Mal felt the bed shift. His eyes shot open and he sat up, looking down at River. She was waking up. Her eyes opened and the first thing she saw was Mal looking down at her with a smile.

"Told you I'd be here."

"You don't break promises," she yawned.

"I don't. You're gonna be okay."

"I know. I heard you."

He squeezed her hand gently. She smiled before falling back asleep. Simon watched from outside. Mal found the plate of food and ate a little bit before also falling back asleep. Simon had gotten the entire story from Kaylee, well not the _entire _story. Only Zoe knew that. He was impressed with what they did and that Mal broke his wrist to get to her. _Maybe the captain isn't half bad._ He thought.

He monitored her for another few days, just to make sure she was okay. Mal rarely left her side. He slept on the other bed or beside her, slumped over on the stool. Simon had to force him to eat. Whenever River woke up, which was becoming more frequent, she instantly looked around for Mal. Once she found him she'd reach out to him if he wasn't already holding her hand. Their new connection was puzzling to Simon. She hadn't reached for him once, or even spoken to him much. She was almost twenty, he had expected her to need him less eventually.

"You can go back to your bed tonight," Simon announced happily.

"That's good. I hate this room and doctors. No offense," River said with a sly grin.

"You brat!" Simon teased.

Mal smiled, not wanting to interrupt the sibling moment. She had been mostly reaching out for him rather than the doc.

"I'll give you a lift to your-"

"No worries doc, I got it."

River smiled as her captain delicately picked her up. She put her arms around his neck, leaning her cheek against his shoulder. It was _so _much better when they weren't fighting for their lives. He put her down on her bed and got ready to cover her up and then leave.

"Wait."

"What is it, darlin'?"

"I was wondering if you could perhaps stay with me for a little while…"

He smiled and shut the door before going towards the chair in the corner of the room. She looked at him with those big brown eyes like, _Closer._ He sighed, but it was a happy sigh, and carefully climbed on the bed so he wouldn't hurt her. She curled up in his lap. His grin widened and he gently started stroking her hair.

"Captain?"

"Yes?"

"What did you need me to hear?"

His mouth went dry. "What?"

"I was dying, you were calling to me. I heard you, I just couldn't answer. You said that you had some things you needed me to hear. Have you said them already?"

His heart was racing. She could feel his fear again. The same she felt before they went out on their heist. Then, it lessened as he resumed tenderly stroking her hair.

"I haven't said them yet."

"Now's a good time."

He laughed.

"That it is."

…

"Well?"

"I'm gettin' there!"

She laughed as much as her aching chest would allow.

"I'm sorry for bein' nervous around you lately. It ain't your fault. I just had some stuff to sort out."

"Have you sorted it out?"

"I have. I don't know when or how, but I got these…feelings. They won't go away and they're real intense. I can't breathe or talk when I feel them."

"That's why you make me dizzy. Strong emotions override thoughts."

"So I figured out. I thought I had lost you and it made me realize I've been dumb."

"It took you this long to figure that out?"

"Hey!"

She smiled.

"Continue."

"I shouldn't have acted like I did 'round you. But you make me act like a school boy. All tongue tied and flushed…" he paused before continuing. "It took me too damn long, but I love you, little one. I should of said, but I couldn't."

It all made sense. The nervousness, the looks, the stray thoughts she heard, how hard he fought to get her back. She looked up at him. He couldn't breathe. It had been awhile sense they had spoken. He was starting to regret telling her, but then she painfully sat up by grabbing onto his suspenders and leaning against him. He cradled her in his strong arms. She put her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. A REAL KISS, NOT CPR. His heart stopped for a second. They only broke apart when they needed air.

"I love you too," she whispered into his neck. "But you're a boob for taking this long to say it and acting like an idiot around me." She moved closer to him. "But you know what?"

"What?"

She smiled. "You're my idiot."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

********

"There's your cut. Thirty-five percent," Mal said as Jayne dropped the bags at Badger's feet. It had been two weeks, just like they promised.

"Where's the little one?" Badger asked curiously.

River floated in and stood beside Mal with a smile.

"There she is. 'Ow are you?" Badger grinned.

"Good. 'N you?"

"Shiny. I was wonderin' if you might like to get some dinn'r with me."

"Sorry, but I'm taken love."

"Taken?"

Mal put his arm around her, smiling widely.

"We have to go. Business to do. Goodbye, Badger."

Mal and River walked away arm in arm. He bent down and kissed her on the top of the head before getting out of Badger's line of sight.

"He isn't happy," River giggled.

"He's just jealous. As he should be."

"Right. I'm _**your **_little one."

"Damn straight."

He pulled her into a kiss. _What can be better than this?_ They both thought.

_Nothing._

**The end**

_A/N: I don't think that this is as fluffy as some of my other stuff. Yes, no, maybe?? Thanks for reading, reviews are loved. Thanks! Much love_


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